Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Nylons and the oral tradition

The overreliance of Mormons on what i sometimes call (for lack of a better label) the “oral tradition” troubles me. This is particularly the case for a religion like ours that leans so far to the orthopraxy side of things.

Specific case:

When we lived in Florida, most of the women in our stake didn’t wear nylons to church. In fact, it was generally regarded as a silly thing to do—we were in Florida, after all, and nylons are a rather warm bit of clothing.

Now that we live in Alaska, as far as i can tell, nobody cares one way or the other—some women wear nylons to church while others don’t, and it’s not a big deal.

I know women who live in other locations, though, who have been taught over the pulpit by bishops and stake presidents that it’s a moral sin—yes, that’s not made up—for women not to wear nylons to church.

Sorry, folks, but i’d have to think that if it’s not a sin in Florida or Alaska, it’s also not a sin in Maryland or even Utah.

(Of course, i still remember a post from a while age on the Spanish Fork 401st Ward blog where the question was posed whether nylons are a “spiritual requirement for sisters, or old-men fetish?” Well, given that there really apparently is a word in Japanese porn for that, i know what my guess is…)


Heather the Mama Duk said...

Isn't there a word in Japanese porn for just about... everything?

I've heard of women who swear that not wearing nylons is a sin. And have heard of leadership saying so. No one here has. Nylons are evil. Perhaps those who say they must be worn are being fooled by the adversary.

Seriously, nylons are stupid. They run at the slightest provocation. They feel disgusting while being worn. They are ugly (I'd much prefer to see nice white or black tights over "skin-tone" nylons any day!). They are just so nasty.

I do happen to know one woman who for a long time swore you MUST wear nylons to church. And then her husband was bishop and there was a meeting or conference or something for their area. A couple general authorities were there and their wives. There was a meeting for the bishop's/SP's wives and the GA's wives were in it. Neither of the GA's wives were wearing nylons. This was in a hot, humid area in the summer. So the must wear nylons things came up and one of the GA's wives said there was absolutely NOTHING of the sort, it was definitely not a sin not to, and no one in Salt Lake had ever said that was so. And so this bishop's wife happily threw away her nylons and started telling anyone who would listen that she had it on good authority that not wearing nylons would most definitely not keep you out of the Celestial kingdom.

Michelle said...

1. How come everyone but me seems to know a lot about Japanese porn?

2. I don't know about the nylons thing, but from my observations, I think that someone in Utah must have taught that wearing knee-high black boots will get you directly to the Celestial Kingdom.

kimberlee said...

Nylons are evil.

@ Michelle. When we lived in Centerville UT no one ever wore knee high black boots. We moved one city away and yes, I think it is a requirement to wear them. Hence, I got Doc Martins. I thought maybe I had just hadn't noticed that this was not a requirement in centerville. We went back for a funeral and I was correct. Just black high heel pumps.

High heels are evil too.