The utility of mellow moments

Further proof i’m evil: Contra the usual church class meme, i’m actually pretty sure i don’t grow as much spiritually when i face trials compared to how i grow when i experience times of peace, giving me time to ponder and learn from what’s around me.

Not quite as wonderful anymore

You know, i’m sure i can’t be the only one who misses the counterpoint Wonderful!s in the old (i.e., pre-1985 hymnal) version of “I Stand All Amazed”.

Opposition in a few things

Mini-rant: I’m tired of the overuse (not to mention misuse) of the “opposition in all things” line. For the record, it pretty clearly does not mean that, for example, one needs to taste straight lemon juice in order to properly appreciate chocolate.

However, the judicious addition of lemon to dark chocolate, yeah, i’ll admit that can only help.

Things to teach your children

A recent sacrament meeting speaker i heard talked about how his grandmother was the ultimate example of motherhood, and one of his evidences for this was that she’d had seventeen(!) children.

He went on to talk about her “righteous posterity”, made up of sixty-two grandchildren, and now several (i forget the number) great-grandchildren.

Now i’ll quite vociferously argue against the meme of holding up one’s fecundity as a valid measure of how good of a parent one might or might not be. However, if you look at the numbers, we see something interesting:

62÷17<4

Or, in other words, each of her seventeen children produced, on average, less than four children themselves.

It appears that she taught them at least one important parenting lesson, eh?

It makes special musical numbers bearable (almost)

Ever look at all the kids standing up in front of the congregation when the primary children sing and play “Guess which two of them have hit their adolescent growth spurts already?”

Family…Isn’t it about time?

You know, i’ve noticed that there’s a great deal of worry among church leaders about the activity level of teenagers growing up in the church. This makes sense—in any church, particularly one with a lay leadership, those who grow up in that church are a likely pool for future leadership.

Of course, if someone stops coming to church at fourteen years of age, it’s likely not the kid who’s made the decision to stop coming—it’s more likely the parents. So why do parents of teenagers stop coming to church (and, by extension, stop bringing their children to church)?

Well, i can’t think to speak for all of them, or even a majority of them, but when i look at the absolute timesink involved in having an active teenager in our church (and it gets worse when they turn fourteen, and i can’t even imagine what it’s like for parents with both male and female teens), well, i can begin to guess about at least one reason.

Really, folks—would it kill you to leave a few weeks of the year completely free for families to just spend as families, without making them feel like their kids have to be at some activity or another? Just saying that it would be nice, that’s all.

What the world needs now

I’m rather tired of hearing lines such as “What people need most is a knowledge of the gospel”. I mean, let’s make sure they’re getting enough oxygen first, and then maybe we can talk religion…

The topbottom of the mountains

Where did people ever come up with the idea that, when Isaiah talks about people streaming to the house of the Lord in the “top of the mountains”, Isaiah’s talking about the Salt Lake temple? Might i remind everyone that Salt Lake City is in a rather deep valley?

Names for canon

Doctrine and covenants are two different things, you know.

Planning ahead

From the it’s-never-too-early file, a thought on Halloween…

The church doesn’t allow gender-switching costumes at its costume parties. This means that whatever i (a guy) wear to a church event, i can’t go as a female person.

Given the church’s belief that one’s sex isn’t mutable, then, that means that i can totally go to my next church Halloween party as RuPaul, doesn’t it?

Just a simple rant this evening

To anybody out there who might ever be in a bishopric, high priests group leadership, or elders quorum presidency, please don’t ever compare percent home teaching rates with percent visiting teaching rates and go on about how the men aren’t being good priesthood holders ’cause they’re doing so much worse than the women of the ward. Beyond the horribleness of the attempt to make gospel teaching into a competition, the two numbers are not comparable, since there’s different guidelines on what constitutes a countable contact for home teaching and visiting teaching—and so trying to compare them makes you, in the eyes of those who actually know what the numbers are based on, look like nothing more than a numbers-obsessed jerk.

You’re welcome.

I can’t help but ask these questions

The scriptures talk about “stirring the hearts of men up to anger”. Is this as opposed to “pureeing the hearts of men up to anger”?